Move Over Megxit Madness, The Dukes of Chippingdom Have Arrived

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At a time when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex aim to officially leave the United Kingdom to assume a not-so-royal life in Canada, and perhaps indulge in poutine more than jacket potatoes, monarchists and commoners alike may take comfort in knowing that “The Dukes of Chippingdom” have arrived on the British scene with right proper fanfare.

“It’s the moment the entire country has been waiting for,” heralded Lamb Weston’s website. But, no, the “moment” was not a reference to the bombshell “Megxit” news about Meghan Markle and husband Price Harry’s  self-imposed exile to North America.

Instead, the frozen potato products company’s announcement is appealing to discerning citizens to “rise up and prepare to rejoice in this great British occasion as Lamb Weston launches The Dukes,” which are described as “elegantly exciting, perfect pub chips.”

The proclamation continues: “With chips this good, one can see why the British started queuing!”

The “proper British chips” are promoted as “distinctively natural, gloriously golden, royally rustic, thick-cut chips – made from 100% British potatoes. The Dukes are more British than a British bulldog in a union jack waistcoat, spiffing!” And they serve up “as firm as a gentleman’s handshake,” to be sure.

“We all know that everyone loves chips, and none more than pub goers,” adds Lamb Weston. “More than half (56.2%) of pub dinner occasions include chips, fries or wedges as a side, and chunky, thick-cut chips are the most ordered potato product in pubs.”

In a recent consumer test almost 40% declared their love of chips as a side, more than 60% said they prefer skin-on in a pub, and a whopping 72% said they are willing to pay a bit more in a pub for a British-sourced product.  The most important attributes of a chip were cited as having a crispy outside, being thick cut with a fluffy inside and a having a hand-cut appearance – and The Dukes fit the bill.

“These little beauties have been irregularly cut, with feathered, golden edges,” says the producer. “They are beautifully crispy on the outside – even though they’re non-coated – fluffy on the inside, are available with skin-off and skin-on, and they’re ready to make their grand entrance, gracing pub plates across the land.”

The Red Tractor certified and gluten-free product has already earned its place in the Craft Guild of Chefs Product Endorsement gallery.

Lamb Weston, which just happens to be headquartered in the USA, has production plants and sales offices in States as well as in Canada. So it should not be a problem for the Duke and Duchess to indulge in all that Chippingdom has to offer, should they be so inclined.

Enter the King, and God Save the Queen

Meanwhile, as Harry and Meghan step back from “senior royal duties” and work on becoming “financially independent,” a kingly offer from another realm has been made to help supplement the couple’s income in the event that the Queen cuts their allowance. Perhaps in tongue in cheek tribute to Eddie Murphy’s Prince Akeem character playing a fast food worker at McDowell’s Restaurant in the 1988 romantic comedy film “Coming to America,” Burger King franchises in the United States and Argentina have offered part-time employment to the part-time royals.

“Dear Dukes: If you’re looking for a job, we have a new crown for you,” is the theme of a Burger King ad campaign. “After so many years of living as dukes, it is time for you to start eating like kings.”

The question is: Will the King decide to menu “The Dukes of Chippingdom” french fries? If not, maybe Canada’s revered Tim Hortons chain (which is majority-owned by Brazilian investment firm 3G Capital, as is Burger King) will find an efficient way to get the specialty chips through joint UK-Canada security to the secluded North Saanich waterfront mansion on Vancouver Island and onto the plates of the Sussexes.

God Save the Queen! – Reported by John Saulnier